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The Roman Redress

Journal Entry: Thu Nov 8, 2012, 8:34 PM
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The Roman Redress: Poster by AvannaK

                The Roman Redress


Opening...

Nearly a year after the events of How to Train your Dragon, and Berk is barely recognizable.  Humans and dragon live side-by-side, managing, after much trial and error, to find a symbiotic existence.   The interspecies peace is maintained by Hiccup and his personally-trained peers through the Dragon Training Academy.  Astrid and Hiccup have grown closer over time; their teetering relationship slowly drifts from uncertain to comfortable. 
 
Things are well for the Hooligans but not quite smooth.  Already burdened by responsibilities no Viking has faced before, Hiccup’s father is now "gently" pressuring him to take on even more—the Becoming Chief sort of responsibilities.  His relationship with Astrid bears some strain from this; just as they feel more ready to stand strong as an official couple, outside stressors threaten to take them back a step.
 
Hiccup makes a habit of taking long flies to clear his mind—sometimes too long and often with only Toothless for company.  It’s a mild concern for Astrid and Stoick, something they see as a necessary indulgence for Hiccup, even as his stints last longer and longer.
 
One day Hiccup leaves for an evening fly and isn't seen again for several days—the longest he's ever been out, unaccompanied by another human.  The village—more specifically, the chief—grows restless in his absence.  A couple of search parties are sent out during this time, by ship and by dragon, all returning unsuccessfully.  Stoick is about to involve other tribes in the hunt for his wayward son when Hiccup returns.  He claims unexpected weather conditions held him back for so long, which isn’t a good enough excuse to save him from the tongue lashing by both his father and his girlfriend.  They take to keeping a closer eye on him, trying to become more involved in his life to stop him from pulling away.
 
At first Hiccup seems fine.  But soon his subdued and thoughtful manner turns testy.  He becomes increasingly agitated and distant over the next several weeks.  It reaches the point where Astrid ends things with him.
 
Two days later Hiccup is gone again.  He doesn’t return.

 

Four Years Later...

The Vikings are expanding their ground, exploring the world in ways that were previously unavailable before the use of dragons.  Now it's Romans that the Barbaric Archipelagoes see war with; and while the empire might be crumbing, Rome is still a force to be reckoned with.  Astrid won't say it out loud, but some days she's grateful for a new reason to swing an axe in her hand.  She connects with an old focus flying could never give her, and it helps harness the rage and confusion over Hiccup leaving she can’t quite quell.
 
The Meathead Tribe calls for Berk’s aid when they lose a handful of their Vikings to Romans after a battle turned bad.  Astrid and several Vikings under her command fly to Rome to infiltrate and rescue the captives.   Thuggory is among those in the rescue mission.  He flirts with Astrid on-and-off; teasingly trying to entice a strong woman like her into the Meathead Tribe (preferably through marriage).  Astrid is used to this behavior from him.  She bats away his offers and she otherwise gets along great with Thuggory.
Thuggstrid by AvannaK
The rescue mission is successful—battles and action scenes galore—but The Meathead-Berk rescue team needs to recuperate underground before daring to move back home; they’re still in the heart of Rome, after all.  Astrid, in garbed disguise, enters the city during the day to scrap together what she can of food and medical supplies.  In her excursion, she stumbles across the gladiator games.  The Meatheads they just rescued were meant to die in that very arena.  She peers through the gates, feeling disgust for the Romans and their barbaric pastimes.  Even the rowdy crowd leaves the island-raised girl feeling revolted and exposed.
 
That’s when Astrid sees Hiccup.
 
He’s not in the arena with the other slaves.  He’s in the Imperial Box, sitting amidst the Romans.
 


On the Roman End of Things… 

Hiccup blends in well with the Romans. He has the lithe build, tall and lean.  He can walk and speak like them, plays their logic games, admires their art, and quickly learns their politics.  It’s the sort of environment where he can thrive, where his wit is treasured.  Though he’s an outsider, Hiccup manages to attain the attention and interest of the wealthy Cordus family, who has several heavy ties with Roman senators.

T. Cordus Priscus is the head of his long and noble family line.  Their money may have dwindled over the years but their reputation and influence have not.  Cordus’ second wife of twenty years has taken ill as of late.  His oldest son was killed years ago in a bar fight (reportedly by a Viking) and his youngest son is naught thirteen.  His most able heir at the moment is his flighty and indulgent daughter, Felicia Corda.  When Felicia becomes smitten with the young, interesting foreigner, Cordus is annoyed, thinking this is just another whimsy of hers.  But with time he is charmed by this ‘Hiksti’; the boy moves in as a permanent guest, and within a year is practically a part of the family.

Cordus knows he is taking a public risk by becoming so close to a foreigner—by allowing an outsider so close to his family—but the boy appears to have money and wit and, best yet, has proved himself a great tool for political and financial advice to have in his pocket.  He ropes Hiksti into his family through an engagement to his daughter—knowing the strange accent will fade with time, that the name can be changed (to Gnaeus), and soon people will forget Hiksti was never a part of Rome.  Felicia is pleased, her younger brother, Catallus, delighted, and Cordus feels with a bit more influence on the young foreigner he’ll have his family’s future secure.
 
The only person who isn’t open to the idea of accepting Hiccup is Verus Livius, a senior centurion and leader of his own cohort.  The second son of a Senator and close family friend, Verus had intentions of marrying Felicia himself for his own political means.  Hiccup’s presence put a stop to that.  What more, Very is deeply distrustful of foreigners during this time of war with the Vikings.  The more Hiccup is embraced by the Cordus family, the more spiteful Verus grows of him.  When the two are in the same room, there is often a trade of subtly dangerous words.

The Confrontation

Naturally, Astrid confronts Hiccup.  She follows him, asks around, and gathers information on him.  She's careful to hide her hair and clothing, struggles to refine what latin she does know.  She learns that he lives with the Cordus family as an honored guest. The no one knows much about him.  She learns of his engagement.  She’s hurt, angry and confused.
 
Astrid catches Hiccup at night—who, as it turns out, does meet up with Toothless at night to fly.  Toothless spends his days sleeping outside of the city and easily navigates the rooftops at night.   

To say Hiccup is shocked to see her would be an understatement, but he quickly makes the connection on who is behind the missing Viking captives.  Astrid’s fury grows now that she has Hiccup in her clutches again.  She rants at him, threatens to kill him, to reveal his birthright to his new “family”.  In return, Hiccup threatens to blow the whistle on the recovering Vikings hiding out in the city.  They part with ill tempers. Astrid is more upset and confused than ever; Hiccup seems displeased to have his old clan in the vicinity.

As the wedding draws near, Cordus’ wife passes.  What started as a simple cold progressed into something the healers couldn’t find a cure for.
 
Meanwhile, Astrid continues to watch Hiccup.  She makes arrangements to get all the Vikings home but she doesn’t want to leave Hiccup in Rome.  She wants him home and she wants answers.  She knows there has to be another explanation for him marrying into a Roman family.  A handful of Vikings stay with her—their old gang and Thuggory, who’s fond enough of Astrid to want to have her back for this.

Romanredresspics4 by AvannaK
 
On the day of the wedding, Astrid watches from afar—despite her peers urging her to leave and spare her own feelings.  Against her desperate hopes, Hiccup goes through with the wedding and officially becomes a part of the Cordus family.
 
Gnaeus Cordus.

  

Things Fall Apart

Thuggory convinces Astrid to return to the Archipelagoes and forget Hiccup forever.  However, on the eve of them leaving a new ship of fresh Viking captives arrives in Rome for the games.  The Viking gang decides to delay their departure home to break the captives free.
 
When the Viking-rescue-squad broke into the market in the early morning hours, they expected minimal guard and few patrons.   The auction platform was still being set up and bidding for prospective gladiators would not begin for hours.  The chained Vikings were resting against wall
What they hadn’t expected was for Hiccup to be present.  He was taking Catallus to look at the new slaves as a bonding experience to test the boy’s eye for spotting fighting potential.
 
The Vikings barely hesitated with their plan—Hiccup had crossed lines no Hooligan would dare to.  With the guards so unaware, their attack on the unit is successful.  Only one captive Viking is killed along with seven Roman guards.
 
Somewhere in the scuffle, young Catallus is killed as well.
 
Once more, Astrid is reluctant to leave.  In spite of everything, she doesn’t want to give up on Hiccup and is afraid the young boy’s death may get him in trouble.  But she sees him at the memorial looking solemn, with his arm around his wife.  He is the remorseful brother-in-law—not stared at with contempt, but embraced as grieving family.
 
The Viking captives—some Bogs and Peacables—are cared for, nursed to health, and sent back North in small, unsuspicious groups. For the second time Astrid prepares herself to head home for good when shocking words reach her.
 
Felicia Corda is found dead in her marriage bed.

Romanredresspics3 by AvannaK


Shit Hits the Fan...

The news is terrifying and bewildering.  Astrid puts her information gathering skills to the task, picking up pieces of information here and there as the city around her is in an uproar.  The young Roman woman passed in the night from suffocation.  For the briefest of moments and against all reason or judgment, Astrid fears for Hiccup.  But Hiccup was the one who found her body, and was reported as being across town at an inn during her time of death with wealthy friends who can attest to it.
 
Astrid manages to find Hiccup on dragon-back the very next night.  Unlike in the daylight, amidst the Romans, when Hiccup is equally as grieved as Cordus, he is stony-faced and unresponsive.  He won’t talk about what he’s feeling or what happened; he only tells her—repeatedly—to leave Rome.  Astrid can’t tell if it’s because he wants her gone or if he is worried about her.  He has never been so unreadable to her before.  A part of her wants to blame Roman politics, but another part of her starts to wonder if she ever knew Hiccup at all.
 
Astrid Hofferson can’t stand suspicious behavior—especially from Hiccup.  She doesn’t leave.
 
Cordus, with nothing but extended family left, moves to make Hiccup his heir.  He’s fond of the boy, and he’s put far too much mentorship into him to trust his lineage with anyone else.
That’s when Verus’s aggression towards Hiccup becomes alarming.  He shadows Hiccup, whispers accusations and feelings of distrust.  He becomes, all in all, quite troublesome.
 
Two days after Felicia’s death and Hiccup comes to Cordus with a disturbing discovery.  He’s found Verus’ earring in his and Felicia’s bed.  He also reports that Felicia once confided in him that Verus scared her—that he had shown aggression towards her...
 
When Verus is confronted about these accusations, with Hiccup standing at Cordus’s back in a place he once coveted, he loses it.  He curses Hiccup, moves to attack him, and is quickly restrained.
 
Cordus is so deep in his grief, so endeared to Hiccup, that picking sides was never an issue.  Verus is put on trial.  He can’t deny that it is his earring Hiccup found.  A handful of friends and acquaintances can agree that he desired Felicia after some manner and many know his distaste for Hiccup.  Worse still, Verus can’t remember what he was doing the night Felicia died. He can’t recall drinking, but he can’t recall not drinking either.  His mind is blank.  No one can attest to his whereabouts that night.
 
Verus is ruled guilty of Felicia’s murder and is sentenced to the games.  The next morning Verus fights against Vikings once more, but this time he does not have his legion with him.  He is alone and weakly armored.
 
From the imperial box, Hiccup watches him die.  And from within the crowd, Astrid watches Hiccup.
Romanredresspics2 by AvannaK

The Big Reveal... 

With his new wife dead and tensions running high in Rome, Astrid tries to get Hiccup to come home one more time.  This time, instead of in the night air where Hiccup and Toothless can out fly her, she confronts him in an area better suited for her: in his room, with an axe in hand.
 
Her appearance catches him off-guard and for once Astrid has the advantage.  They argue again, their voices pitching between heated whispers and sharp volume spikes.  Hiccup still won’t leave and Astrid doesn’t understand why.  If it wasn’t for love then why was he still here?
 
That’s when Cordus walks in to see Hiccup with Astrid.  He recognizes her Viking garb and suddenly Hiccup’s origins spring to mind.  He demands to know what is happening.
 
Astrid’s axe is up in a second and Cordus turns with every intention of calling the guards.
 
Hiccup pulls a dagger from his belt—the very same dagger he’s had since he was nine—and throws it.  It lodges in the Roman’s throat, cutting his voice before a sound can be made.
 
The room is still with shock.  Astrid can only watch as Cordus slides down the wall, staring at Hiccup in horror and betrayal.  Cordus has just moments of life left in him—he is quickly bleeding out—so Hiccup crouches down before him and uses that time to explain.
 
He reminds Cordus that he is from a northern Viking tribe, and then speaks of a centurion he chanced upon in a bar.  They shared drinks—a few too many drinks—and spoke of many things, of life and death.  The centurion even boasted of the first person he ever killed—a beaten and broken slave.  A mere tool to prepare him for greater lives he would someday end. 

‘You never forget your first kill’ he said, and he described the slave in greater detail, sloshing his drink with his gestures and laughter.
 
The centurion became Hiccup’s first kill.
 
Cordus chokes out ‘son’ and Hiccup nods.  He killed Cordus’ eldest son.  Then Hiccup asks Cordus if he remembers the slave his son spoke of.  The ‘mere tool’.
 
He doesn’t wait for an answer—he doesn’t want to know.  He can see in Cordus’ face of dawning horror that he understands. Romans, despite their many flaws, were always clever.  He yanks the knife from Cordus’ neck and the man in dead in seconds.
 
Hiccup stands calmly, wipes the blade on his clothing, and comments to Astrid that his mother gave this dagger to him.  Just before her ship was captured by a Roman fleet.
 
Astrid hasn’t moved since Hiccup threw the dagger.  Her eyes are on the body of the man Hiccup so mercilessly killed.  Her thoughts are on the centurion he claimed to have killed four years previous.
 
She thinks about Catallus—how no one quite saw how he died or what happened to Hiccup during it all.
 
She thinks of Felicia; how getting from one side of a city to another would take seconds at night on dragonback.
 
She thinks of Hiccup’s impassive face as Verus was killed, brought to sentence by Hiccup’s accusations.
 
His blade clean, Hiccup turns to Astrid.  For the first time in four years he smiles at her.
 
"Now I can go home."

                      The End

 

Up next:  The Guardian Ring ;)

   

Journal Skin designed by: FalconArts
So that was the synopsis for the Roman Redress—A story of revenge and hope, of how the dark seed of vengeance can change a person.

Could I have just said, ‘Hiccup marries into the family that ultimately killed his mother for the purpose of killing them all’? Sure. But once I started the details began spilling forth and I knew I had to tell it right.

It’s not all a happy ending. Hiccup became so involved in the lie and revenge that it left him changed. Will Astrid be able to bring back the boy she loved? Can she learn to love him as he is? :shrug: Who knows, I never thought it through.

Even with laying it out like this we lack the real play on emotions. The connection between characters, the depths that can only be seen through interactions.

:bulletred:The sentimental moments between Hiccup and his Roman wife, the teasing hints that they could be happy together.

:bulletred:Astrid and Thuggory—the friendship that grows; the temptation Astrid faces of leaving all the heartbreak behind to lead the life she once thought she could before Hiccup entered her world.

:bulletred:Hiccup’s relationship with Cordus—how, despite his dark intentions for bonding with the man, appreciates the mentorship and praise.

There's so many dimensions I could put in this story.

So what do you think? Opinions on characters? Should I have written this instead of Hitchups? :meow:

:phew: I think this is how I should tell stories from now on.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthiefqueen200:
ThiefQueen200 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2014  Hobbyist
Love this synopsis, and I would love to read his as an actual fic. :)

I also really like the name. To begin with, I thought it was a play on words to show that Hiccup had "re-dressed", as in given up his Viking roots to live as a Roman, but when I'd finished reading it I realised it was actually to show that Hiccup was out for revenge. Not sure if this was intentional, but I thought it was pretty cool. :P
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Actually, someone is writing it!  I gave them permission and have been collaborating with them on it.   It's right here: www.fanfiction.net/s/9737392/1…

And wow--double meaning XD I hadn't thought of that first one!
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:iconalexjohnd:
AlexJohnD Featured By Owner May 15, 2013
I just read this "story" for the umpteenth time, and it is still so amazing, exciting, and interesting to me!! This actually feels like a full story, just shorter XD. I just had to tell you because I have the urge to constantly tell you how awesome you are :)
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner May 16, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:love: :hug: Hahahaha - thank you! :glomp: Awww, getting a message from you on anything these days always manages to brighten my day. :heart: I keep meaning to put this on tumblr - so thanks for the small reminder that it exists!
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:iconalexjohnd:
AlexJohnD Featured By Owner May 16, 2013
Yay, i brighten your day! I feel special XD!
And i still find it amazing how this is better than some fics i read that are actually written out. You have a gift my good woman.
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:iconalexjohnd:
AlexJohnD Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013
OK, as always, I seem to find your masterpieces WAY after you post them. By the way, for reference, I also read your stuff on fanfiction.net; I have the same user name and profile pic there (maybe you remember me from that essay of a PM I sent you not too long ago lol). ANYWAYS!!! OMFGWTF THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!! This goes right up there with Hitchups, and this is only a brief little thing!!! I saw from the comments below that in your conversation with RoselynJade (not to stalk or anything though :P) that you were considering doing more with this. I REALLY hope you do. The whole "at war with the Romans" thing is a really good story idea, and I love the fact that Hiccup is avenging his mother. This actually reminds me of another story I read on fanfiction called When in Rome (it's a sequel to a shorter story, and both are by Determamfidd) and I really enjoyed that. I always thought that one day Hiccup would go off on his own and do something crazy like this (you know, other than befriending a dragon XD) and just OMG I WANT TO READ MOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!! In my books you are still the most amazingly awesome-ist epically fantastic author EVER!!!
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh I do remember you! You've found my little fic-turds over on this account I see! :XD: I'm really, really glad you found this! You are so kind and generous with your enthusiasm! It makes me so happy! :love: :heart:

Sadly, it doesn't seem to be in the stars that I continue this. It was a nice outlet for a full story I had in my mind but didn't have the heart to write out fully. It is a shame because… well, you read Hitchups, I would have gone all out with the subtle character relationships. Daaamn, the more I think about it the more I feel that pull of regret that I'll never write it out. DX

Though, I have read When in Rome! All together I found it planned and enjoyable (though, despite the handful of parallels to Hitchups, I still enjoyed the first one more :XD:), but it was Spartacus that inspired me to write this. All the sneakiness and plots and fighting. :dance:
On tumblr I made a bunch of fic recs (fics people may have missed because they've been buried under the years) that I've been meaning to put up here. Determamfidd is on it. :nod:

Thanks for the comment! It was so sweet! :heart:
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:iconalexjohnd:
AlexJohnD Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
Awwwwww :( It's OK though, I'll just have to read this 5000 more times to make up for it not being in depth XD. Oh well, qui sera sera. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go stalk your profile until I've dug up everything you've ever written and fall in love with all of it!!!!
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:iconroselynjade:
RoselynJade Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
That was amazing. O.O
I mean, seriously, AMAZING!
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:glomp: Thank you! I love that people actually read through the entire thing. :heart:
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:iconroselynjade:
RoselynJade Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Once I got started, I couldn't stop!
It's such a different take on Hiccup.
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Right? Different but still the same boy underneath it all. It's fantastic.
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:iconroselynjade:
RoselynJade Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
It really is fantastic. You should really do more with it.
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe I will consiering how popular it turned out to be.
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:iconrueyeet:
rueyeet Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
Oh my. O.O

I wouldn't say you should have written this instead of Hitchups, because I enjoyed Hitchups so much. But it sure would have made a heck of a story (and now the title is explained!)

But I'll admit that my first reaction to the ending was just....sheer horror. It's not that I haven't thought the same of Hiccup -- that he'd be capable of terrible vengeance if anyone killed someone he cared about. I'm reminded of the end of Dragon Flower where he says "and I'd do ANYTHING for my dragon", and that sort of hint of dark things in that.

But somehow the degree of coldness it'd take to not only have planned out something this extensive, but to carry out the levels of deception required, makes me want to back away verrrry slowly from the person he's become here. And makes me sad.

I won't argue that Hiccup couldn't, or even wouldn't, have done this -- just that I'm not sure I'd have wanted to watch. *shudder* Even though I'm sure it would've been an amazing read.

Hmmm. I suppose that means the story accomplishes what it sets out to do.

...

Now that I think about it, I take it back.

I'm not sure the kid who was capable of bonding with the most fearsome of his enemies (because, after all, the Vikings have killed thousands of the dragons too) would have stooped to taking out the ENTIRE FAMILY of the guy who killed his mother, as despicable as both the deed and its perpetrator were.

The killer himself, maybe; but surely Hiccup would be the one Viking most likely to recognize that Romans will be Romans, just as dragons will be dragons? That the murder was the product of one demented mind, and the rest is merely a matter of cultures in conflict, as the dragon wars were?

Maybe that's just me being idealist, I guess. Or is the reason why I don't go for those historical HBO miniseries things like Spartacus or the Borgias -- there's only so much gritty realism I can take. :faint:

Still a fantastic concept regardless, and would certainly have been well-told if this structure is anything to go by. You've got the "wait, WHAT?!" cliffhanger nailed.
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sheer horror! :dance: YES! It IS horrifying!

Actually, the way I told this tale really put Hiccup in a scary light. I did it to bring on the 'cliffhangers'. Had I written it out, we would have seen a much smoother descent into the man he becomes by the end.

He never meant to kill that Roman in the bar; it was a crime of passion and it haunted him as soon as he left the scene.

He never even meant to stay in Rome when he decided to go down to investigate (because he needed confirmation that he didn't kill under false assumptions).

He was sucked in. By the culture, the challenge, the people, and there were moments when he paused and wondered if he should actually try and make a real life there, because in so many ways he could be himself around the enemy of his birth people in ways he never could on Berk, even after the integration. He both hated and loved the family that took his own from him. He learned more about their ways, what they put their slaves through, what his mother went through and countless like her...it made him sick. And when Astrid and them came his plans were spurred into action. He was reminded of who he was, or who he used to be, it all kind of came crashing in around him. I know he seems to have it together from the synopsis but he's just really, really confused.

:no: Man... if I actually wrote it out there'd be so much more to it... :shrug: But, that's just how it goes. I think someone asked me to write a synopsis for Hitchups so they wouldn't have to read the whole thing, and I realized that I couldn't possibly pull that off. Once a story is really, truly fleshed out there's no way to compact it again without losing so much.

Hmm... I've seen Spartacus, but not Borgias. I'll have to look into that!
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:iconrueyeet:
rueyeet Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
Hmmm, okay, point. I can maybe see him gunning for the whole family if he found that they'd all had a part in what his mother suffered....which he'd have had to infiltrate them to discover. But it seems to me he'd realize at some point that it wasn't this particular family that was fucked up, but Rome itself.

Probably that's a product of my own essential view of Hiccup's character as a conciliator -- that thing he does where he places himself bodily between the opposing sides and tries to get them to understand each other, how one of his standard phrases is "Wait, I can fix this." It's only when he sees someone as irredeemably dangerous -- the Death, Alvin -- that he sets out to take them down. So maybe that sort of extended vengeance is more of a stretch to me. Varying mileage, as it were.

You really do seem to have a talent for these long-form stories. Me, I can only toss out one-shots, or two chapters at most; or I can come up with the beginning and end of a thing, but never the middle.
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, Hiccup already viewed Rome as fucked up. He just never had a reason to target it like this before. It always came down to the people who were responsible for his mother's condition (and yes, it definitely included many of the Cordus family members. Right down to the wife that died early on). So, it's definitely a story of Hiccup being poisoned, and had it been written we would have gotten detail by detail what each person did to deserve death. It's a slow and thorough descent and really about Hiccup always taking things a little too far. I typically view Hiccup as the conciliator as well. In the books, and even in canon, he can become overconfident about stuff and it usually leads him to making mistakes. While his end goal (seeing his mother's memory being brought to justice) is reached, he made several mistakes as well, mainly sacrificing his morals. My point is, Hiccup didn't look at these people and say "I'm going to kill all of them" (because that would be disgustingly OOC), it was a process. He wanted to get to know them first, and from there he chipped away at his morals little by little. It's Astrid's POV that makes everything seem so sudden and horrifying, which is the intent of the story telling ;).

Hmm, I do tend to complicate things into long stories, but one-shots I always have trouble with. :XD: I guess it's just one or the other for some people!
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:iconrueyeet:
rueyeet Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
Ah, I see the progression now. Really, really would have been one HECK of a read. :nod:
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:iconmastermitosi:
MasterMitosi Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
And the answer to that is question is: Hell no. How DARE you think that!
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:XD:
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:iconmastermitosi:
MasterMitosi Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:)
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:iconmastermitosi:
MasterMitosi Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesomeness!
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:iconpurplemistpepper:
PurpleMistPepper Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This was amazing! The characters are well developed and it is all very intriguing.
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:love: :dance: Wow - thanks for giving it a read! I'm glad everything was intriguing and developed :)
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:iconpurplemistpepper:
PurpleMistPepper Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Yes it is really great. And about Hitchcups...I haven't read it yet, but I've heard great things about it. What would you say is a short summary of it? Sorry for the question :/
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Um... writing a short summary for Hitchups would be... almost impossible because I've tried to summarize it before and it's too involved to do such a thing to. There are so many tiny nuances that really just create the story that summarizing it wouldn't do the entire story that it is justice. I guess I can only recommend you read it. ^^; :XD:
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:iconpurplemistpepper:
PurpleMistPepper Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I'll try reading it then :)
But this is certain, I'll take an eternity to finish XD
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, that's okay, there are some peopel who started it months ago and still haven't finished! And then there are those who sacrificed food and sleep to finish it in a day. :XD:
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:iconpurplemistpepper:
PurpleMistPepper Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Haha, really? XD
Well, I'll try to read whenever I get a chance -(^^)-
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Take your time. Hey, who knows, Maybe I'll even have the "original" version underway by the time you get into it ;)
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:iconventurasgirl:
VenturasGirl Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:explosion:

That's pretty much how I feel right now.

HOLY CANNOLI WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:jawdrop:

Write this. Write this now. :turbopoke:

Okay, freakout over. Wow. Just wow. This is amazing. I'm going to say right here how happy I am that you decided to lay it all on the line so long ago and write Hitchups, because as a result of that epic story (on which I'm going with ~super0knight on this one and saying that yes, it is awesome and wonderful and we are all so happy you wrote it) you have created your own epic fandom and are opening our minds to these fantastic scenarios and probabilities. Without you, this particular storyline probably would have never surfaced before. Yeah, there's the Hiccup-in-Rome stories that float around here and there, but holy moly. This has got to be at the top of the charts on the idea scale.

And Hiccup is so dark! There's also evil!Hiccup stories out there, but they all scale back to some super-complicated plotline that shows that he's not so evil after all. And then the HiccupxOC plotline. I don't think I've ever read one where he actually goes through with a marriage. Like, for reals.

So all in all, this is an amazing plot, and I really think you should develop it. If you do, man am I gonna have to stay on top of this one. EPICNESS ALERT, anyone?

And how on earth you managed to tie all this together and still make perfect sense...my god, woman. You. Are. Amazing. Incredible. Fantastic. All of the above. :headbang:

Oh, and you should totally end it with that line. "Now I can go home." Then if you wanted to develop a short sequel about him healing from all this revenge, that would be cool.

Soooo. Tell us. How'd you get the idea? Did it just start rolling, snowball, and then totally flatten all the competition? 'Cause not even Snotlout's ego could possibly be more huge than this amazing idea.

P.S. How awesome was last night's episode? :faint:
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh no! You feel like raging?! :XD: I can't apologize enough for not being able to write this story out- especially after knowing it would be read.

:faint: Seriously, this response probably blew my mind more than I was ready for. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that so many people actually want to see this come to fruition in actual chapter form. Probably because of the dark!Hiccup theme and the married-to-an-OC thing in a fandom that's more, um, sensitive about pairings that it has any right to be. Basically, I was just shocked and delighted to find that people can look past the principal of such things and just enjoy a story.

My mind also has a penchant for creating things I want to see happen, not things I want to see done better or over again, which is why my stuff has to have a little "breaking new grounds" quality to it. I'm so glad that

I dunno what it is that happens in my head. A story just weaves itself into creation. But I can say that this particular one was influenced by reading the HTTYD books and watching Spartacus. It was a potent mixture that did a little petri-dish-baby-mixture in my head. This is the result.

So thank you so, so much for reading it, for leaving your thoughts, for showering in so much praise I feel dizzy. :glomp: :love: :hug:

P.s. I LOVED the episode. Probably one of my favorites so far. It wasn't quite as deep as I would have hoped, but at the same time they avoided so many terrible mistakes they could have made doing it.
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:iconventurasgirl:
VenturasGirl Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
No, that's exploding. With suspense. And happiness. :XD:

This fandom IS sensitive about pairings, isn't it? Huh. Never really occurred to me till now. That's weird. Especially since Hiccup and Astrid...relly never stated on firm grounds that they were a couple. A few light kisses here and there, but nothing really solid. So it's a surprise that people take it that seriously, because there are substantial female matches for Hiccup on the island. Then if you want to throw in Cami from the books and Heather from the show (even though she's totally evil) and even Doris, Hagne, and Thyra from your story - Hiccup's got plenty of choices. :giggle:

Anyways, your story is something totally new and fresh. I think that's why everybody's eating it up. It's different, it's uncharted waters, and it's a fan going where no fan has gone before. :nod:

Agreed on the episode. It was good, but safe. They skated the line of dangerous TV series mistakes and creating a love triangle too soon. And the good thing is, I can't wait for the second installment.

Keep writing! You are amazing. :blowkiss:
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:iconpepperjdarcy:
PepperJDarcy Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
*I'm lurking on dA again* I caught sight of this, read it... and *BAM* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! <---- literallys screaming.

Omgosh! OHMYGOSH! Okay... calm down... calm down!! :faint: this was...

...this was *GOOD*... no SCRATCH that. THIS WAS BLOODY BRILLIANT. *breathe in... breath out* I mean... oh gosh. oh GOSH!

So, NORMALLy, Hiccup acting like this wouldn't be my favourite... BUT you played it out SO well. And did SUCH a great job. OMGOSH!! And I've seen enough of those 'roman political' old movies this makes total sense. On one hand, it's SOOOOO plausible. Hiccup fit in... motives... reasons... EVERYTHING!

OMGOSH! And the underlying discription!! WHY MUST YOU TEASE ME SO?!?!?!?!?!?! I... I'm horrible because I would absolutely *LOVE* to see this written out... as a book... like Hitchups. it's one of the BEST alternate universe fic/ideas I've EVER seen!!

And... and ASTRID!! OMGOSH! OMGOSH OMGOSH!! I'm going to die. This... this was sooooooo good! I... I absolutely love this! Well, if you EVER write it out, I'm already signed up as your #1 TOP fan/reader!! :#1: There were sooooo many... AREA so many wonderful things about this depth wise/what if wise!! :omgosh. That was brilliant! WHY MUST YOU BE SO BRILLIANT?! :aww:

I miss dA. I miss you! I miss Hitchups!! I miss your art!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Okay... you read this whole thing, you crazy girl. And you liked it and you liked Hiccup despite his actions and attitude and you thought the politics worked and that the motives fit and... and... :tighthug: :iconspinplz:

Seriously, you, everyone, make me really, really contemplate writing this thing for real. I can't tell you how much I want to hit the 'pause' button on time, sit down, and actually write this thing out because when I did write it I had no idea so many people would be keen on the idea. I initially intended to write a brief summary, maybe have that poster at the top, and share it with the community. Once I started writing it, however, all the details and little ties started coming together, and it got longer and longer, and I wanted to add a couple more pictures, and before I knew it I had spent days slowly creating this HUGE synopsis for a story I would never write. I posted it thinking maybe a handful of people would give me a pat on the back and add all the things they thought were unrealistic/didn't fit. I never expected so many to actually want to see this thing written out.

Of course the ending is spoiled anyway. But it's a nice thought to know I would have had so many readers. LIke a second coming of Hitchups with a completely different tale. :XD:

There's actually one more "alter-choice" idea I have that I'll probably write out like this. Honestly, I think this is a great way to share stories. It's like... telling a campfire story instead of writing a book. :)
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:iconpepperjdarcy:
PepperJDarcy Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
:laughing: I am crazy!! :XD: i loved it!!
:iconspinplz:
we make you REALLY contemplate writing this for real? how cool is that!! I wish there was a pause button!! :omg:

Oh gosh. once the ideas start pouring. They POUR!! :faint: and it's always a good thing!

ANOTHER ALTER CHOICE IDEA?! OMGOSH!! and you'll PROBABLY write it out?! YES!! *fistpump* YES!! it is a great way!! Oh gosh! I wish we were sitting around a campfire telling stories right now!!
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:iconsuper0knight:
super0knight Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012
Nope. Hitchups was epic and deserves to remain as it was. However, this story is equally awesome and also has Histrid (Hiccup/Astrid). I would personally devour this story despite the darkness in it and could easily imagine a sequel to it in which Hiccup returns to Berk with Astrid; they have to deal with the aftermath of it; and Astrid tries to bring back the old Hiccup or something better than he is now, at least what she thinks should be better. This was a really intriguing story though and I personally find it very interesting. I would love to read it in full despite the spoilers since you are really the only author that managed to interest me in HTTYD fan-fiction. Well, enough rambling and keep up the great work!! :)
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:blush: So you'd read it despite the darkness, huh? Yes, there's more Hiccup/Astrid interaction in it for sure, though their relationship won't be as... pure as theirs was in Hitchups. That's a great idea for a sequel! I've said it a bunch now but I still really do think it's a shame that I'll never get to write it. Oh well, at least I got to tickle your imagination with this. :)
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:iconhighlord24:
highlord24 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
OMG!!!! write it!!! nowww!!!!!!
I'm a HUge fan of Hitchups and a classicist so this is basically my perfect story!!
characters look great (I would be a little worried about consistency with most writers tackling such a challenge but character is were you excel!
btw i know latin and imperial rome is my area of expertise so if you need a fact checker i'd be happy to help!
cant wait to read this!
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
^^; I would really, really love to write it, TRUST ME. Especially since so many people took to this idea (and I honestly thought no one would). But I appreciate your faith in my and I just love you for beings such a big fan of my stuff. Even more so that you would be so willing to help me with consistency. Unfortunately, I'm pretty positive this'll never get written. I just wanted to share this idea with all of my watches in the hopes that they would enjoy some nice brian-food. :)
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:iconhighlord24:
highlord24 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
okay, I feel the need to explain how awesome this story is. I was reading this post in my college library when my friend looked over at what I was reading. she doesn't read fanfiction, has never heard of you, has never read any of your stuff, is not a classicist but quite likes HTTYD. she sees your story and immediately goes "OMG! that looks awesome! I'd love to read that! where'd you find it?".
trust me it's a fantastic idea and well worth writing, and you WILL get the followers if you do write it! so please please PLEASE do!!!
so thank you for your brain food! omnomnom!
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:love: Aww, your friend liked it too! Ughghghg you guys make this so hard - the desire to write it is stronger than ever. I honestly thought that as soon as I shared this with people and no one read it it would be able to fade out of my mind. Hmm... maybe if I ever get settled back in America I'll give it a shot. :XD:
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:icondusanmen:
Dusanmen Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
Wait i dont get it, is this from an other ''universe'' or is this the same as Hitchups?
Sorry i am a bit slow :(
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nope - it's completely different. I was saying that I had a number of different ideas for deviation fics - though this one hardly counts as a deviation, it's a future fic. :)
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:icondusanmen:
Dusanmen Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
It was very intresting to see Hiccup do this, i hope to see Hiccup do more this kind of stuff in your fics, make use his brain for more evil plots! >:D
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:icondusanmen:
Dusanmen Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
I really liked it!
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:iconaurola-seadevil:
Aurola-Seadevil Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012
This. Was. Amazing.

I loved the relationships Hiccup made with each character, even if he killed them all.... :icontoobadplz: IT WAS WORTH IT.
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:iconavannak:
AvannaK Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:eager: :heart: Wow, thank you! I love that you thought it was worth it. Really, I'm of the same mind. It's more than the closeness of characters, it's how unique each relationship is that really counts.
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:iconaurola-seadevil:
Aurola-Seadevil Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012
Haha, no problem! :D Just for the record & also for no good reason, you should make this into a story. Maybe like you did Hitchups. Doesn't have to be as long, but it has an pretty good plot to be stretched into a story. :iconw00tplz:
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